its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
