You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We need to get me chipped asap
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize