I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he was CRYING into my vagina
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize