i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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