imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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