proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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