Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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