He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize