I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My life is pants optional.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
