i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
