No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize