Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
and you fell through a lawn chair
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
