I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
