'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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