Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
