Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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