ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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