I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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