yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
