I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
