There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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