moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
