you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
