Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
