last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
