im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
