some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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