I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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