yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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