Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
