so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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