I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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