he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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