i can't believe i had my finger in that
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
