I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
