he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
