drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
