wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just had sex bonerless
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I enjoy the company of your penis
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
