Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Houston, we have a blender
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
