Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
