New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Send help, water and tortillas.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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