Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize