After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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