it was like eating out sand paper
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
