sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
