Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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