Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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