Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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