mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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