Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
