That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
