TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
