the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
