i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
