tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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