i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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