So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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