I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just gift wrapped bread.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
