Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
