I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
