Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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