I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just pee around me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
