I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I AM VODKA MAN
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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