omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
